So lately I’ve been experiencing quite the amount of self-doubt and possibly burn out. I’m currently in my Spring semester of Junior year and planning to take the MCAT in only 2 more months away (more like a month and a half – yikes). My mind has just been filled with to-do lists that seem like they are never-ending and seem to weigh on my shoulders forever. On top of ‘trying’ to study for the MCAT, I’ve been attempting to stay afloat on my classes so I can really begin off strong since midterms are already near. Also, trying to be a good friend, peer, daughter, girlfriend and etc. for those in my life.
I know what you’re thinking… “Arianna, you have the rest of your life for X, Y, and Z! Why are you stressing out so much on the future that’s not even here?!”
Well, I’m trying to figure out why my emotions and thoughts are feeling this way too lol. I’ve always been the biggest over-thinker and I think I just let my emotions get the best of me. Usually I’m very optimistic and motivated for anything that comes my way but I think it’s best to face the self-doubt and actually handle it instead of packaging it into a bottle like how I always used to do (which would eventually burst and end up into another emotional episode lol).
So, here I am. Facing the truth as I type. It’s okay to feel this way. Almost everyone does but just doesn’t share it. All this hard work will pay off one day. All of the tears, sweat, and aches will be worth it. All of the sacrifices and time spent on doing work that seems almost pointless at times but is important for the overall goal.
Also, giving all of my problems to the big man upstairs. Lord, you can handle everything way better than I ever can.
I guess for whoever’s reading this, you’ve gone through some type of self-doubt or feelings of blue and I know we can make it out of these difficult times together. Everything will be worth it. We can also embrace all of the moments in between because sometimes it’s hard to enjoy the present when you have the promising end goal so close to your heart. So cry it out if you need to. You’ll sleep better at night if you do.
With unconditional love,
All life demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person we are today. – Pope Paul VI